Another addition

It truly has been a long time since I updated this. I have to say, unfortunately, I am still in the same job. Now I am told if I don't reduce my stress level not only will my depression worsen, I am knocking on the door of a stroke. SO....to that end I am searching for a new job. My health is more important than this position. The obvious roadblocks I am encountering are the economy, my age, and no degree. Like a lousy piece of paper would give me more experience or knowledge? I am what I am and that is mainly a good thing. Can't help my age - blame my parents, they had me to soon??????? Can't help the economy and we ALL know who to blame for that one. And when I was a high school graduate it was far too expensive for me, the oldest of five children, to even consider a college degree. And what's more, there were perfectly good jobs I was well qualified for with my diploma. What happened since then?

On the bright side, my family is well. The grandkids are getting so big. Two in high school, three in middle school and the rest in grade school. Time goes by too fast. And now that they are growing up, spending time with grandma isn't quite so much fun. Got girls or boys to check out, friends to "hang" with, things to do that grandma just wouldn't understand. But grandma still loves every one of them.

Well, believe it or not, it is now January 15 and my Christmas tree is still up. Guess it is time I pulled some ambition out of somewhere and put it away. It WILL be done today, I have promised myself.

Ok, I guess I am done for today. Being able to put my feelings here could help. My depression and a migraine was so bad beginning last week that I just didn't care about anything. I am getting a little better outlook but the headache just won't completely go away. Must be proactive and get that taken care of.

Until next time.....

It is Thursday night and I should be in bed. But I wanted to vent some feelings to clear my mind. I really have to find a different job or win the lottery. I cannot stand the stress there anymore. And that brings me to my other stressor. I haven't been able to eat anything of substance and keep it down for 11 days now. I am beginning to be afraid. I don't feel sick although I do think I had a fever Monday night but that was short lived. I just can't eat. Not drinking Diet Pepsi - that will shock many as I always have a can in my hand. Not eating chocolate - that shocked the rest of you who know that I believe chocolate is a food group. We have doctor appointments on Saturday so will hopefully get some answers then. My hope - the doc tells me I must take a month or two off work and prescribes that. Then my short term disability kicks in and I will spend the summer in Rathbun with NO stress. Closest thing I can think of to running away! Well, that is how I feel tonight. Now it really is time for bed.

This is my first attempt at blogging. I will use this to post my feelings, my joys, my pain, the gamut of my emotions. Sometimes I will truly ramble. Sometimes I will write poetry. Sometimes, no most of the time, I will brag about my wonderful family. I just had my 60th birthday in April - 60! How did that happen?? My parents are both still living and I am so grateful to God for that. I have two sisters and two brothers. My oldest brother (5 years younger than me) is both mentally and physically disabled. And he is the most wonderful man you would ever want to meet. I am extremely blessed to have him in my life. I have three children, two step-sons, and seven grandchildren. God has truly blessed me.

You will see and read more of me (if you are inclined to follow my ramblings) and some you may agree with and some you may not. But these will be my honest feelings and I hope my family will add some to this as well.